It is already a huge gap between Meditations and me. Whenever I feel indecisive or agitated, I read philosophy. This is because I was inspired by the Western philosophers that led me to buy the book about Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
Today it is one such strategic decision day to open the book and quote the following:
In the mind of one who is chastened and cleansed you will find no suppuration, no simmering ulcer, no sore festering under the skin. Fate does not catch him with his life unfulfilled, as one might speak of an actor leaving the stage before his part is finished and the play is over. Moreover you will find nothing servile or pretentious, no dependence or alienation, nothing to answer for, no lurking fault.
Thinking about rotten episodes of life is becoming the reason why I keep distancing myself from the people who want my responses and decisions about pending projects.
Rotten thinking must vanish immediately, which is what I should try, because these days I am deliberately wasting time, ignoring most literary activities and teaching.
The suppurative mind must cleanse itself from vitiated thoughts and would pour layers of satisfaction by correcting our thinking that is required to lead a virtuous life.
One needs to remove the kernel to taste the fruit. Similarly, you need to cleanse your mind, however hard it seems, from distractions and practice concentration.
Fulfillment for me is defined by consuming my work and feelings completely. For this to happen, one must be present in the moment, spend hours with undistracted preparation, and bring humbleness in one’s character that helps build a legacy through completely embracing ourselves in a kind of responsible love.
We should love ourselves so much that we carry forward all burdens and curses with dignity, with a fighting spirit against those who do not live or do not let others live.
I am living such an experience where my brain has become prolific, my heart is beating faster, and my anxiety has erupted suddenly, reminding me that those days are back when I felt panicky for little things that aren’t a big deal in life and do not hamper your reputation or success or potential.
I enjoy getting anxious nowadays, out of maturity. It is a sign of sincerity. Anxious people are more sincere. They are always serious about things but not deprived of clean humor and goodwill.
Just concentrating on ourselves is the new fashion statement that will not deny us self-respect and dignity. You will correct yourself long before being told.
Dignity and respect are healers of all vices, including procrastination due to poor self-esteem. The barter for respect is necessary to counterbalance most rivalries and hence the suppurative thoughts that arise, as Marcus Aurelius describes.
We are all full of negativities. Hope lies in understanding their origin and coughing it out or chewing it in before you think it is appropriate to assert your part with dignity.
Once chewed, it is done. Because thinking about something repeatedly will trap us into a vicious circle of agitation and anger.
Trust me, it doesn’t bother others if you are angry or agitated.
Only we keep ruminating, making our relationships more cumbersome. We are important to ourselves and to the one person who awaits back home when you return after the day’s work.
Instead of getting agitated, write your thoughts and read or wash them away. Or let it flow despite the subtle cues you gain from the universe that every time you leap forward for progress, the anti-progress vices appear from those people whom you least suspect.
Thinking right is an art. When we are in love or satisfied, we tend to think and do the right things. The moment we falter, we will think like a criminal.
So this year I have planned to prevent suppuration inside my mind and move on, thinking positively that one day things will be right for me also.
Stoicism has taught me that good and bad exist inside us and resisting the bad to embrace the good is the law of life no matter how interesting it is to know the bad things.
Look inside for answers. Be happy.
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